Willie Parker's Hate Mail

Willie Parker's 102-yard effort against the Hawks yesterday may have made his coaches happy...but people who own him in fantasy leagues? That's a different story. One aggrieved fantasy owner writes:

Fuck you, asshole. If you run for over 100 yards again and fail to get in the endzone, we'll kill your fucking dog. Don't get to the century mark and fail to score? First born, bitch. (OK, not really. Just your dog.)

You are making Najeh Davenport look like a first-round fantasy back. That's bullshit, Willie. You're a first-round fantasy back and you're more useless to our teams than Steven Hawking.

This is why I don't play fantasy sports. It's hard enough keeping up with my hate for the guys on teams I root for...if I have to start hating guys on other teams, I'm afraid I might turn into a serial killer.



Photo from Super Bowl XL by Mark Humphrey/Associated Press