Lately it's gotten to the point where the 2000 Washington Huskies Media Guide could double as a sex offender database. Remember when the most sickening thing about Husky football was a little bribery by the boosters? Yeah, those were happy times.
Luckily we can relive them, thanks to some industrious Associated Press reporters. You'll remember that the booster bribery was uncovered when the Seattle Times asked to see emails about Tyrone Willingham that were sent to UW President Mark Emmert.
Among them were Ed Hansen's offer of $100,000 each for the heads of Willingham and Turner, emails with witty, insulting puns like "Losingham" and "Turdner", and our favorite, the psychotic father who vowed to keep his infant daughter away from Husky Stadium until Willingham was fired.
In all, Emmert received more that 100 emails that threatened season ticket cancellation or a halt in contributions if Willingham wasn't fired.
The Associated Press, hoping for a similar treasure trove of insanity, asked to see emails sent to Cougar president Elson Floyd making similar threats re: the job status of now-ex-coach Bill Doba.
There was 1.
One! Only one fan who threatened to cancel his season tickets if Doba wasn't fired.
We can draw only a few logical conclusions here:
a) Cougar fans are simply more stable human beings than Husky fans.
b) Despite their team's similar records, Cougar fans didn't have the visceral hatred for Doba that Husky fans did for Willingham (wonder why!).
c) The majority of Cougar fans lost their email access when Prodigy went under.
Now, since c is an obvious cheap shot that I wouldn't even momentarily consider, the most likely answer is a.
Washington State Cougar fans appear to lack the gene that sends a person into a psychotic tailspin when their football team plays poorly, a tailspin that would compel them to threaten/bribe a state official unless they fire an athletic coach.
This is a terrifying realization, since I, myself, am a Husky fan. Am I doomed to become one of those people who writes an all-caps message board post an hour, each one ending with "LOL", "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" or ";)"?
If you know a good shrink, please, let me know.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Cougs Are Saner Than Huskies
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5 comments:
The last few months have been difficult for Husky fans. I've decided to stop reading the newspaper for a while. (I've also decided to not answer my phone, listen to the radio or talk to my Coug "friends")
Or could it be the fact that the Cougs have had a mediocre team for years and the Huskies were dominant all of that time?
Or could it be that spoiled yuppie suburanites cry over spilt milk harder and faster than a bunch of hicks and farm boys? That could be it.
Although, I will say that of my friends from high school who went to UW, they tended to be a little more together than my coug friends. Maybe its going to school in seattle.
And I went back east to navy. Shows how stable/bright I am.
I will refrain from commenting on this ... I will refrain from commenting on this ... I will refrain from commenting on this ...
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