It's a Jolly Holiday with McLarry (/reach)

I'm too busy planning this magazine (more on that later) to make my annual pilgrimage to spring training. Sounds like I'm missing a hell of a time.

Case in point: As a "get to know you" exercise, McLaren is having each player sing a song in team meetings.

Non-roster invitee Roy Corcoran sang "Brand New Man" by Brooks & Dunn [original on YouTube] and R.A. Dickey sang the University of Tennessee fight song [original w/lyrics on YouTube].

Jeff Clement and three other rookie catchers raised the bar, composing a ditty entitled "Me and Rog" about gruff catching instructor Roger Hansen. This is possibly the best song ever composed by a Mariner player--I've never been able to get a hold of "I'm a Ballplayer"/"Kingdome", the 45 allegedly recorded by former M's infielder Lenny Randle.

Other case in point: Mel Stottlemyre introduced a fielding drill called "Invite a Friend" where, if a pitcher botches a groundball, he picks two teammates to run a lap around the infield with him. Miguel Batista mock-complained about it to MLB.com's Jim Street: ""I haven't missed a ball in two days but I must have run six or seven times each day. The only word J.J. [Putz] seems to know is 'Miggy.'"

After two consecutive late-season collapses, the Mariners could probably use a little lighten-up-juice. Since Eddie Guardado left, they've seemed to lack a clubhouse jokester (Putz loves pranks, but he seems to confine his mirth to the bullpen).

This may partly be due to the influence of Ichiro, who was said to have objected to the card-playing and joviality that existed in the M's '05 clubhouse. Also, Raul Ibanez and Richie Sexson are not among our nation's most fun-loving personalities.

Truth be told, Guardado's antics did seem to be a bit over-the-top. Like the time he had the Latin players pretend they were striking for a day in solidarity with immigration rights marchers. Look at us! We're on the side of the oppressed masses! Just kidding, we'll take our paychecks now.

Point I'm trying to make is that if the M's can find a happy medium between the Eddie Guarado Cavalcade of Hilarity and the Ichi-banez We're All Professionals Here Seminar, that would be a good thing.

All this talk of funny, let's have some...here's Earl Weaver's classic "Manager's Corner", in which he unleashes a series of extremely profane answers to listener questions. Headphones on! This is very NSFW audio.